[ Money, Money, Money! ]

The picture is of my very first dollar dedicated to the beginnings of a non-profit! Over the years I have raised money and every single penny went to the children of Africa! And future dollars will be doing the exact same thing, but in a more efficient way! God-willing, and with your help, we can start a non-profit soley made for educating children of Kenya.

This nonprofit is OPEN DOOR MINISTRIES.

More to come on this new journey, ways you can help, and what God is doing right now in Kenya!

[ Waiting ... ]

Well, I am back in the States and trying my best to enjoy every minute of it. I miss home immensely. Kenya is definitely where I see myself the rest of my life. When the time is right, God will send me back long-term.

Until then, I will be in the area teaching here! I want to get Open Doors up as a nonprofit, and begin applying for funding so that when I do get over there I can do what God wants to be done!

Until then .... Ill be living and serving God, wherever I may go!

[ Time of Change ]

Well, there is not much going on around here! Okay, that was a joke. The days are running fast together and there is not much for resting around here. The school year has 15 days left and I am attempting to squash in as much learned as possible in between the field trips, music practices, sports finals, and everything else that comes with being a teacher.

It is hard to believe that soon I will be leaving back to the States too. Adding that to the mix does not help! Attempting to squash your life into suitcases is not very easy. It takes a special skill, which I have been getting very good practice at! I am so very excited to see friends and family, but am deeply saddened to even think about leaving my beloved country...the country which I have dreamed about living at for years. I am learning to let go and focus on what God has for me in the future. And I truly believe that this is the correct path for me even though it is the hardest path right now. I know that being in the States for a while will give me an opportunity to start up my non-profit, get some extra education in the areas I need, and be able to live a constant, stable life for the first time in my life. And I am excited about that!

I know that when the time is right, I will be back to Kenya permanently and when I do come ... watch out, I will make a dent in this poverty and hunger. Until then, I am going to live in the States and share God's word to those around me....making a dent in the US of A.

See you all in a few weeks!

[ 35 days ]

It is hard to believe that I will be in the States in 35 days. And I will be completely honest, I am not the most stable person in the world when it comes to emotions. The past month or so I have been up and down with my emotions, and preparations. It was SO EASY to come here, because this is my home. It is NOT easy leaving. To be honest, I need all the prayer I can get right now.

I am not who I was a year ago.

Everything has changed about me (read my blog: www.lifefurtherlived.wordpress.com on more specific things). Every aspect has changed. I have learned to live without a television, inconsistent power and internet, seen things that no one should see, and a McDonald's. The priorities I have now are NOT what I had when I left. My relationship with Christ has strengthened. And I like that life. No, I love that life. I love the life I have been blessed with and I don't want to give it up. The pressure of finding a place to live, finding a job, finding MONEY is already overwhelming.

Perhaps you think its odd that I didn't even blink an eye coming to a third world country, but I am struggling with coming back to America. I know, I am different. Africa, now Kenya, is in my blood and it is where I belong and feel at home. Africa is my home. Not America. And for many, that is a hard concept to grasp. I can't explain it, but God has done this to my heart.

And somehow, I need to try to fit in a world back in the States that has no stopped since I have left. While I have been gone friends have had babies, gotten married, and have even passed away. My family have their own lives. People who I thought were my friends have not contacted me since I have left. Its a hard thing.

And somehow I need to easily transition to this new world? How do I do it? Honestly, I do not know. But I do know that I need to be praying and reading his Word every single day. And your prayers are needed too.

[ Wrapping Up: Rwanda ]

TOP 10 RWANDAN HIGHLIGHTS

1. Making sure I don't get water in my mouth, so I don't get sick.
2. Being the only white person watching Manchester futbol.
3. Being asked to marry, at least four times.
4. Elephants charging at us for at least a mile.
5. Learning how bananas grow.
6. Seeing a Rwandan in the boonies wearing an Obama t-shirt.
7. Watching children laugh and play with a bike tire and stick.
8. Attempting to speak Swahili in a french-speaking country.
9. Seeing gorillas in their natural habitat.
   
10. Seeing God's creation in a whole new way.

RWANDAN NEVER FORGETS ....

1. Seeings rooms full of bones and pictures of those who died.
2. Hearing the stories of the victims and survivors.
3. Walking through mass graves at Nymata church.
4. Seeing the machete laying on the blood-stained alter at Nymata.
5. Watching a coffin be cleaned by a woman who had been gang raped and tortured.
6. MOST OF ALL ...Hearing the HOPE and feeling of HEALING of the Rwandan people
   

[ Wrapping Up: Rwanda]

I can't comprehend even now what the Rwandan went through. Even though over the past days I have seen and heard stories that I will never be able to share with anyone, or say with speech or write with words, I know the heard of these people hurt even more than I do. So many bodies and bones are still being found, even today. Yet still, these people keep moving forward. They will conquer. For, God is with them.

[Rwanda]

It is so good to spend my last dew days seeing God's creation: the people and the land here. I was able to drive out of the city to see some of my favourite animals in their natural habitat. I just love giraffe's! (I guess that explains why one of my goals before I die is to hug or kiss one!). Granted, it took me at leave five hours to see all the animals I wanted to see once I got out in the villages, but it is so worth it! Seeing the giraffes, hippos, crocodiles, lizards, birds, water buck, rhino, lion, elephant, impala, buffalo, and antelope not in a zoo is quite astounding!


The guide and I were able to get very, very close to a herd of elephants too! So much so that...the herd began to charge at us for AT LEAST a mile. (see photo below of the first elephant charging!) It was quite...breathtaking, literally. I made my way to Tanzania to do some gorilla findings! I must say, those are some of the biggest and meanest looking animals I have ever seen!
The drive to and fro was beautiful to say the least. I do believe Rwanda is one of the most beautiful countries in the world. (Although, I do believe that my opinions are a TAD biased). The green mountainous hills, rows and rows of banana trees, and thousands upon thousands of Acacia trees is close to heaven on earth itself.
On the way back to the city, I stopped by a large field of PINK. There were hundreds of men and women in pink clothing. I stood and watched them work for a while. They worked so hard - sweating and being pushed around too. I felt very sorry for these people, whoever they were. I went and found a man and asked him why these people were in pink. He said, "They are being punished. They are from the genocide: the killers." Many, thousands, of rebels have been caught and are serving a life sentence. Half of their sentence they must do hard labour, and the other half they must do in prison. I was astonished.For me, I don't think I would want to see the faces of the rebels ever again, let alone across the street to where I would be living. He seemed content with the conviction and seemed at peace about it all. And that is good.

Also on my way back, many things occured to me as I was driving! I am driving like an American! I did not even noticed that I was driving on the right side of the road, unlike Kenyan which is the left side. Since the genocide, Rwandas are doing all they can to keep Rwanda clean, and at peace. There are very strict laws about the roads. You can equate them to American laws actually. It is law to drive with a seatbelt, to not liter or you will be fined. In fact, it is a Rwandan law that once a year you must not work and clean your village! If you have millions of people taking off one day in the year to clean, wow...I do believe Rwanda is one of the cleanest places! And you must use your turning signal! And they have lines on the roads too! Everyone obeys the speed signs, uses turn signals, and lets people in front of them! As you can see, I am very suprised! I am used to roads filled with holes, no lines, running stop signs and lights, matatus driving off the road to pass you because of impatience, lots of trash, and driving as fast as you want. haha. Oh how I miss Nairobi!
Before turning in at the guesthouse, I took another drive around Kigali to see the new U.S. Embassy that was mandated by President Bush. It's HUGE. I also was able to see the new parliament building too. You can still see the old one behind it, with scattered bullet holes on the sides. There are still physical remnants of the genocide, but nothing compared to the bullets in the hearts of the Rwandans. And yet, these people are so strong. They are healing and will prevail. (photo: side of an army building)

My advice to the world: Love with all of your hear and live each day as if it were your last.

[Rwanda]

I decided to take the rest of the day off from researching and interviewing about ministry ideas and history of Rwanda and go to the markets. THAT in itself was a chore since I am a muzunguu (white person). Everyone wanted to talk with me because of my skin colour. White means power and money in Africa. Of course, once I started talking with them and getting to know them, they also learned my personality and how I act like a Kenyan, not a tourist. I had a great time and was actually at the markets for over three hours just speaking to them and hearing their stories of how they came to Rwanda. Many of them were from neighboring countries and are refugees. In the end, I think we BOTH had a great time laughing and sharing stories!

[Rwanda]

When the genocide begun, many Rwandans fled to the safest place they knew: the church. Unfortunately, those made the rebels have an easier job by burning the entire church with people in it. Some of the priests and pastors, who were secretly rebels, turned on their own congregation even after many years. Once the church doors were locked, the pastor would shoot all of the people or set the church on fire himself. Nymata church in Nymata is the result of a rebel ganging.

The people of Nymata fled to their church to find peace and a safe place for their children, only to be murdered in cold blood.

It only seems fitting that on my way to the town of Nymata that it is pouring rain. Many nights were filled with tears and many days were filled with mourning during and after the genocide. To this day, Rwandan people have not found all two million bodies – they are still finding them to this day, as they are building and expanding Kigali. Mass graves are constantly being reopened to add more bodies, even after all these years.

On the outside, Nymata looks like a church, but as you walk closer in the muddy sand you will see that there is something different about it …something chilling, disturbing, and cold. This memorial still has the screams of children, the crying of babies and the agonizing yells of men and woman in a place they should be safe in.

As you walk in, you are instantly caught off guard. Rows upon rows upon rows of blood-stained clothing fill the entire church. Shoes…rosaries….machetes…everywhere. 45,000 pairs of clothing, 45,000 people shot down, raped, beaten, and suffocated, in ONE DAY.

One side of the church has an especially large amount of crosses. That curved wall with wooden crosses is a memorial to children. Many of the children, especially the babies, were hung upside down and thrown against the brick wall till they stopped crying, died. As you look up, you can still see the holes where showers of bullets went through and blood splatters that reach the ceiling.

Most of all: the alter. The beautiful white cloth that once covered the altar is now covered in blood stains from the Rwandans. Machetes still lay on the alter today, never been moved from years before. Rosaries covering the stained cloth.

When they decided to make the church a memorial, they built an underground room. This special room is to clean the bodies and coffins that are brought to the church to be prepared for the mass graves that lay outside the church. I stood there and watch two men clean wooden coffin that had a young woman inside. This woman, before she was shot to death, was beaten and tortured sexually by at least twenty men. Before she was shot, the men laughed as they took turns on her.

Where do you put over two million bodies? It is one thing to see a grave, it is another to walk into a mass grave…down the stairs and see thousands upon thousands of coffins, many of the coffins having ten bodies in them to save space. Those whose bodies were actually identified have their names on the side. If not, you are given a number.

I am not being descriptive; I am just re-telling exactly what happened.

No words, or pictures, or anything can equate to what I saw today. To feel the pain and sorrow I feel, and the sickness of how the rebels tortured innocent people will never leave me. I will never be the same again.

[Rwanda]

It is very refreshing after a good nights sleep under a mosqitoe net, to be awaken by a nearby church singing worship songs in the Rwandan language. I can’t help but think today that every morning is truly a brand new day and gift. I can choose to remember yesterday, and dwell on the worries of life, or choose to life today to the best of my abilities and let go of the small stuff and keep my heart opened. Yes, my heart might get hurt at times, but taking chances are worth it because I am worth it. Today, I am going to let it all go and let God be. And I hope you do too! Today, I am going to see Kigali, the markets, and the genocide memorial. I will write when I get back.DAY 2: Afterthoughts of the Day

My day was definitely NOT what I expected. I felt a sickness all day, that not even food or throwing up could take away. It is one thing to read about or see pictures of the Rwandan genocide, but it is another to see it with your very own eyes. You yourself would be sick too of what a true horror it all was. I’ll see forget when I saw the array of bullets holes that left a bloody stain on the side of buildings.


I walked through rooms of pictures all over the wall, faces of men, women, and children who have been murdered in cold blood. The rows upon rows of skulls and bones, many of them with bullet holes, especially in the skulls of children brought tears for my eyes. Rows…and rows…of skulls…. Families were killed by family friends, people they trusted but yet they still kill because of who they are.

Women tortured physically, only to die by a machete, rifle, or suffocation. Numerous children were forced to kill their own family before killing themselves by force. Some Rwandans were forced to take a machete or a rifle to their own family members. Many children saw their parents be chopped up before being suffocated or choked. Some were shot and their bodies fell into a deep pit with thousands of other bodies. Many women were put in septic tanks after they were tortured and beaten. What is torture? Your eyes being taken out, fingers chopped up, being shot so you live, legs chopped off, …and left to LIVE for days and then finally shot. Yes, I am being very vivid.

Seeing a heap of clothing ripped and stained by blood is disturbing. The most interest part: no one did anything about it. The government did not stop it, international countries did not come to help, and local missions left. These murders were happening and no one stopped it. The sickness and sorrow I feel is overwhelming.

My driver refuses to go inside the memorials because it brings on too many feelings, as he is a survivor himself. You can do nothing but cry when you see the mass graves of so many Rwandans, a quarter of a million bodies in these mass graves. I ONLY SAW a quarter million graves…two million were murdered.

Today, I also went to the home of the man who was president right before the genocide. The day before the genocide started, the president’s airplane was shot down as he was coming home to Kigali. It just so happened that his plane crashed on the property behind his home. To see a plane crash, never cleaned up, never touched is heart-wrenching and chilling….

[Rwanda]

As I sit and watch the sun rise, I am confident that God is with me. I see the hues of the sky melt together in yellows, reds, and oranges. I look out and see planes, but past the planes, is the land that I love. When I look past the large metal birds, I see the plains filled with Acacia trees and giraffes. I am home, only leaving for a while. I am the only white person to the flight to Rwanda, but I am used to that by now. Colour does not matter anymore. I feel Kenyan. I am Kenyan.

I am ready for an adventure, to see the true heart of Afrika, to travel my beloved continent.
When you see Rwanda now, you re in shock of the peace and solitude of the land. Hills of neverending green overtake the horizon. Smiles, hellos, and the sun tell you that there is a peace no found anywhere else. You would have never guessed that a little over ten years ago that there were dead bodies of men, women, children, and babies all over the very roads I am walking upon. Boy soliders were holding machetes, finding people to kill. But now, solitude and peace. This country “of a thousand hills” still stands beautifully. They have not given up. They refuse to falter.
I am still astonished about the Rwandan people. Most of them were alive and survived the genocide themselves. They saw their homes burned, their entire family murdered in front of their eyes, their life-savings stolen…but yet, they are happy to be alive.

And why do I worry about things I cannot change? Is there a reason why I waste my time on: thinking about the future, where Ill find work, where Ill be? Why can’t I just be happy to be alive and live each day to its fullest? I worry about such petty things at times. It will stop today. I am learning this more and more as I live in Africa, but I am in desire to live it after seeing the hope and happiness in these people.

There comes a point in every one’s lives that you can choose to worry about anything and everything for the rest of your life, or just…give it all up. Forget about the small things, focus on what is important, and live every day as if it were your last. And well, this is my day.

I told myself I would stay in my hotel room for at least five hours once I settled into the guesthouse here in Kigali. I try my best one day out of the month, or more if I need it, to literally stay in a room to read my Bible, reflect, write, and pray about what God is leading me to do or showing me to do. In all honesty, it usually is not the greatest day in the world. It is hard to see your sins, your faults, and failures right in front of you. But after you know them, then you can change. I won’t write out all the items I need to work on personally for the world to see at this point, but at the end of this blog there will be a list of things you can do that will help you live a more happier and enjoyable life.

If you really want to change who you are to an even more amazing person, lock yourself in a room with your Bible, paper, your favourite pen, and a water bottle and youll see a change!

1. Read a chapter of the Bible every morning
2. Silence your phones on the Sabbath, things can wait.
3. Take a 20-30 minute nap. Yes, it is okay.
4. Pray in the shower.
5. Instead of driving, try to walk to your place of destination.
6. Tear our newspaper clippings or magazine articles that inspire you.
7. Post-Note your favourite quotes or Bible verses.
8. Read a book with someone else.
9. Start saving your change for a trip.
10. Buy some in-door plants, or start a garden of your own.


DAY 1: Afterthoughts of the Day

It does not matter where you go in this world, how much money you make, or how beautiful you are on the outside. If you are not happy with yourself, then you will not be happy with your life. You can be the author of a best selling book, owner of your own business, or be a prominent person in your community, but if you are not happy with your life, you will live a miserable life. So, are you happy with your life right now? Make a list of things you want to change, THEN CHANGE. Don’t sell yourself cheap, you deserve the BEST.

[ God's Hands ]

I was fortunate enough to be able to go to a close friend's church called Victory World Outreach this past Sunday. Pastor Safari (see picture above) runs this amazing church of at least 340 people. The needs are so high and there are many needs. No matter how many needs there are, the church continues to evangelize, church plant, and disciple. What an amazing church!

The church has many church members who live in the slums, low-income housing, to the higher-income Kenyans. I was able to meet up with one woman who I met in the slums, speak with her, and to give her some classroom supplies and decorations for her school in the slum. This amazing woman share's God words and teaches children in the slums, even though she is HIV positive. It was great to talk to her, teacher to teacher, for her to tell me the kind of needs that schools have in the slums.

In addition, I was blessed enough to be God's hands to five families at this church by providing a few bags of food. Some of these women do not have jobs, some of them live in very bad conditions, and some of them are in dangerous situations. I am glad I was able to put a smile on their face and show them the love of Jesus Christ!

I was also able to babysit a beautiful two and half month old baby. Some of the Rosslyn teachers take babies from a place called "The Nest," which is a place where orphans and children of imprisoned mothers can stay while their mother serve their sentence. Luckily, one of those teachers need a babysitter and I was able to spend some time with this beautiful girl.




God is molding future ministry here in Kenya! I can hardly wait to get back to the States to begin changing, and beginning the paperwork and foundations of a beautiful ministry to come!

In less than a week, I will be off to Rwanda to sight-see and see what kind of needs there are in other countries in east Africa for future ministry. I will be going to markets, orphanages, churches, genocide memorials, and learning about Kigali. More to come!

[ S.E.W. and Other Things ]

S.E.W. is Spiritual Emphasis Week. Every year, the elementary sets a side a week to focus on God. I teach my students Bible every day of the week, but it is nice to set an entire week to just focusing on The One who has made the heavens and the earth. The focus for this year was Joseph and his journey in Egypt! I don't know how it happened, but I got volunteered to sing and lead the songs in chapel time with another teacher. I am not very musical, but I made sure I did my best. The kids had a blast with the music, the snacks, the skits, and the family group time!



It is hard to believe that I only have a few weeks left with my students. I am very excited for them to experience 6th grade next year, but I am sure going to miss this crazy, amazing bunch. Granted, we have three months left of school but many of the days is filled with Cultural Field Studies, Field Trips, Testing week, Easter break, spring break, and just extra things that must be done before the school year is over! I am very excited for CFS, or Cultural Field Study.





This where the entire 5th grade goes on a cultural experience for a few days. No school, but just the Kenyan land and my students! Super duper pumped to be able to see my kids in a different light.

[ Pure Love]

Wanna know how I feel today? Please watch the link below:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8welVgKX8Qo&NR=1

[ SMART board LOVE }

The greenry here is so astonishing. Flowers are abundant here, and quite cheap. I can get a dozen roses for 300 Ksh *about 3ish dollars* So there is no excuse to not have flowers in your home!

So much has happened lately it seems, although I think it is just because the school year is coming to a close and there is just not enough time to get through the this we need. Plus, there are tons of extra thins we need to do too!

It is hard to believe that I only have four more months here. I am taking it by day and enjoying the time I have. It will be very sad and very hard for me to leave, but I know this is EXACTLY what God wants. But that doesn't make it easier. Some days I am 100% happy and excited to go back to the states and other times I am saddened and just dont know how I will be able to leave a country I have fell in love with. And when the time comes, I will come back! I am hoping to do some light travelling over the next four months which includes going to Rwanda and Nakuru, Kenya!

Classroom Excitement: It was a dream when the SMART board installers came into my classroom two weeks ago to install the very first SMART board at Rosslyn Academy *and the only one as a matter of fact* I am very happy and blessed that I was chosen to be the very beginning of the pilot program. And as you can see in my photo, I am quite happy!

It has been so fun to show other teachers, and staff here what a SMART board is and how it works. Most have never seen one so it has been very rewarding to see them stand in front of this board with their mouths dropped in awe.

Even though the power has gone out so many times this week, the SMART board is still worth having. And the rewards of children learning in a totally different way is amazing. I am glad that I get to be the one to teach children a new way of learning! And grades have gone up because of it!

Well, I think that is all for now. Later!

[ Finally Making Sense ]

I did have a much longer post, but the power went out while I was typing. Such a bummer when that happens! Although, I have come so used to the power going out that I don't even noticed it when I am teaching or working. Anyways, here it goes...

What a crazy past couple months it has been here in Kenya! It surely has been an experience so far. And I believe that the last two months has been more change and experiences since I have come here! As many of you may or may not know, I will be coming back to the States this summer to stay.

There are numerous reasons for this sudden and unexpected changed in "my plans," (note: "my plans" and not "God's plans") but in the end I know coming back to the States is exactly where God wants me. Kenya is most definitely in my plans for long-term for the future, but every day I see that God wants me back in the States for a while. I guess that is one thing I am at fault for as a human. I always think I KNOW WHAT GOD WANTS. And to an extent, I do, but in the end his plans are nothing like my plans. :) WHICH, I am glad about. So leaving earlier than what I expected was NOT in my plans, but are in God's. And ... I am okay with that. :)

Being here is such a blessing. I am so glad that I am where I am right now. I am learning so much about Kenya, east Africa, and the needs that they have. The ministry plans I had for Kenya before I came here were FANTASTIC plans. Fabulous plans. But being here as showed me that even though these plans are very well thought-out and would work here, that they are not the most beneficial for this area and that other plans would be more effective. And that was the purpose for this trip anyways: to teach and preach Jesus Christ, and to research and survey the area. There is so much need here, much more towards finding food for starving children, taking care of orphans, and getting adults jobs. I am so glad that I am able to see the "real" need so that I can focus more on those aspects than what I was focusing on before.

In addition, being back in the States will give me an opportunity to be near family, pay off my debt (which definitely needs to be done before I do anything else overseas), get my teachign license issues in order, prepare for a better ministry now that I know what the real needs are, and just do a few natural things that come after graduating college. I keep forgetting that I am only 22 and even though time is but a flash, that I do have my entire life in front of me. Now is the time for me to set up a foundation for myself. Over the past 22 years I have been in years of transition ... childhood, high school, college, graduate school, I have never had a close knit group of friends, a consistent job to pay off debt, or had time to invest in people so that when I do go overseas one day I have a good foundation leaving with!

It took me a while to learn that coming back is not a failure. I kept telling myself, "What is everyone going to think when I come back earlier? People will think I am a failure and I am not doing what I was designed to do ... " But i realized through reading the Bible in the year that I AM doing EXACTLY what I was DESIGNED to DO! Africa is a place that I am designed to help. But God has in store for me even MORE than that. :) I just can't wait to watch God work in friendships, my jobs, my family, relationships, ministry plans, and everything else in the next few days, months, years, whatever God wants!

Kenya is such a very interested country. It has a large amount of missionaries already here, its the second most developed country in Africa, and yet there are children just starving ... orphans eating from trash cans ... adults dying from AIDS ... and parents giving away their children because they just cant feed them without a job ... there are so many problems that need to be accomplished before even education can come into the mix. .. ohhhh so much is on my heart right now with these issues!

So this is NOT goodbye. This is just the start of a wonderful plan God has for me and Kenya in the future. Oh how I can't wait to get back to the States to do cater my current ministry plan to better help Kenya!

In the meantime, I am going to spend the next few months traveling the area, teaching these amazing children, preaching and evangelizing to those around me, and living the life God has designed for me to live.

I am His to use, no matter where I am.

Blessings,
Melisah...