[ 35 days ]

It is hard to believe that I will be in the States in 35 days. And I will be completely honest, I am not the most stable person in the world when it comes to emotions. The past month or so I have been up and down with my emotions, and preparations. It was SO EASY to come here, because this is my home. It is NOT easy leaving. To be honest, I need all the prayer I can get right now.

I am not who I was a year ago.

Everything has changed about me (read my blog: www.lifefurtherlived.wordpress.com on more specific things). Every aspect has changed. I have learned to live without a television, inconsistent power and internet, seen things that no one should see, and a McDonald's. The priorities I have now are NOT what I had when I left. My relationship with Christ has strengthened. And I like that life. No, I love that life. I love the life I have been blessed with and I don't want to give it up. The pressure of finding a place to live, finding a job, finding MONEY is already overwhelming.

Perhaps you think its odd that I didn't even blink an eye coming to a third world country, but I am struggling with coming back to America. I know, I am different. Africa, now Kenya, is in my blood and it is where I belong and feel at home. Africa is my home. Not America. And for many, that is a hard concept to grasp. I can't explain it, but God has done this to my heart.

And somehow, I need to try to fit in a world back in the States that has no stopped since I have left. While I have been gone friends have had babies, gotten married, and have even passed away. My family have their own lives. People who I thought were my friends have not contacted me since I have left. Its a hard thing.

And somehow I need to easily transition to this new world? How do I do it? Honestly, I do not know. But I do know that I need to be praying and reading his Word every single day. And your prayers are needed too.